Finding What Your Child Needs with Little to No Cost Toolkit

Your community offers opportunities through a variety of resources. There can be some amazing opportunities to be found. Keep an eye out for groups and events. For instance, Community Leagues often have events and programs throughout the year available to those who are Community League members – the cost of this versus the benefits really make it worthwhile. Family Resource Centres are also a great source of information, resources, and programs. They are open, warm, and welcoming of everyone in the community.

In our city, for instance, there are open mic nights that feature people’s talents and celebrate participation. Our city held a scavenger hunt downtown. Likewise, there are ways to engage in the outdoors such as: garden plots, skateboard parks, outdoor arenas, parks, outdoor workout/weight parks, tennis courts, and beach volleyball.

And be creative. For instance, Food Banks may offer resources or groups with little to no cost. Through Adult Learning, we have accessed a free program that was offered in our area. It was an English as a Second Language conversation group to encourage conversation skills (English is our first language, but I sought a place for my son to engage in conversation and build opportunities for conversation and interaction). He was welcomed in this group. For a small cost he also now does a computer class.  Public libraries have some awesome things such as groups and events that are often free or low cost. We have engaged in summer reading programs, craft nights, movie nights and game nights, just to name a few. Check if groups in your library or community have games and activities in which your child can engage. 

There are many helpful programs that are subsidized. I will often be the one to ask if there is a special rate for people with disabilities – and often, there is. Attention to this helps as this can be often missed particularly if people have invisible disabilities.  

There are many specific examples abound (see list of resources in Appendix A). Medical Alert is an example of one program that we have used at no cost and now as an adult, low cost. They now offer a selection of what one can wear as a Medical Alert. We could access this service without cost when my son was in school. But If your school isn't registered, perhaps you could ask the principal to join the program. The program is called ‘No Child Without’ and they also have an autism program. Other such discounted programs and support resources are available. We were fortunate that someone told us about what is called the benevolent fund through the union I had belonged to – a payment for something needed when a member falls on hard times and that is a one-time use. There are other such resources and subsidy programs available. 

We have found a Canadian site for ordering books at a reasonable cost (and in Canadian funds!): www.bookoutlet.ca. It offers new books that are discounted as well as toys, colouring books and puzzles. I have found some of my son's educational books here, with great discounts. 

A go-to place for information support and for addressing needs is Facebook support groups. People in the groups are there for the same reason and often are willing to help. There’s a bit of caution, though, as people tend to have some pretty strong opinions. But generally, they are respectful, and there often are people who monitor the conversations and will step in if the conversation gets too heated. 

In conversations with others, one thing that has helped us access resources has been sharing our child’s diagnosis and needs. That has opened up so much more acceptance and understanding of his unique specialness and needs. Yes, there were some mixed reactions, but once people would get to know him, not only did they accept him but sometimes even more doors were opened. Yet it is important to recognize that people have various feelings and options about divulging a disability or diagnosis, and I respect that. 

For us, having a service dog was a bridge for sharing. We have found that disclosure, as needed, has helped create more positive outcomes as it has influenced others such as the facilitator of a group, to have more understanding and provide needed accommodations. Sometimes it even opened more doors of opportunity. But that said, sharing about a diagnosis is an individual decision and very personal – you need to do what is right for you. As he became older, I would always ask him if it was okay to share.   

Some stores or other places have items that either may be of particular interest, or are geared toward special needs. We have found our favorite stores, and we watch for when they have a warehouse sale, clearance sale, etc. so we can get what my child loves, equipment, and educational things but still on a budget. Sometimes this means periodically going to the store and looking through their merchandise, and indeed, sometimes I have found true bargains! Sometimes, too, you can find treasures in places you least expect. I found a social skills game once in a toy store at a price I couldn't believe. I have found that some toys are also quite realistic and educative such as sets exploring things like hospitals, dentists, veterinarians, etc. In earlier years, these kits/toys have allowed my son to explore, play, and navigate so he was more comfortable with the real-life situations. There are also books that can teach social skills. For instance, I searched ‘social skills kids’ or ‘social skills autism’ and now realize that there are lots of websites.

We have found resources at the Apple and Microsoft stores. Contacting store staff and others offers insights about what they can offer. I have found that if you reach out and talk to people in these places and let them know what is needed, they are often helpful in finding something that may be useful. 

I also have discovered that local malls periodically bring in celebrities or events. You can reach out to the organizers if you think that a given event (or how it is organized) may not work for your situation. We did that on a number of occasions, and the result was amazing. Once, the mall brought in characters from Treehouse TV who my son and daughter loved. But staying in one spot for any length of time (e.g., standing in a long line) was out of the question for my son. Figuring this event would be busy, I called ahead and asked, and together we figured out a plan that worked. True to form when the day came and we attended the event, my son was walking around and ended up close to the stage. The staff asked him to go to the end of the line. But when the necessary information was conveyed, they immediately welcomed him, asked what he needed, and he was allowed to stay and meet the featured characters as they went on stage, stopping to give him a hug as they passed him. Another time, he met the astronaut, Chris Hadfield! And accommodations were made so he could meet Wayne Gretzky! On that occasion, they even put him at the front of the line. The people behind not only were okay with this, but cheered my son on (even though these people had waited in line for hours). It warmed our hearts and fulfilled a dream for my son and us!

Engaging with other parents has been awesome for me as a Mom – not only for connection, but also as a way of mutually sharing what we all accessed and what works (or doesn’t work). I do a lot of engaging with other parents and caregivers. Often, us parents wait outside or on the sidelines of our child’s groups or sessions. Over time, we have become comfortable with sharing ideas and resources. And others may have a different view on something – which may be helpful. 

As an example of the value of others’ input, a friend told me about the Canadian Owners and Pilots Association (COPA: copanational.org). This was a true find as they offered a program for kids in which the pilots explained to the youth about the plane and then took them on a flight. My son participated for free, and it was a dream come true for him. He was given a picture taken of him and the other youth that were in his group and the plane. And all of this was initiated just by discussion with a friend! 

In talking with other parents and families, we’re reminded that we’re not alone. You can receive support from others who "get it” and with whom you don't have to explain everything and are accepting. As I’ve waited for my son outside of his groups often with other parents in our ‘circle’ – some whom I now have known for years – the benefit of that support is huge. This is yet one more way to build our village, and these relationships can help facilitate get togethers and possibly friendships for our children. There also are a number of organizations that offer Parent Support Groups.

We have engaged in lots of research projects particularly if we feel we can help someone else or if it would give meaning to our journey. One research project involved looking at relationships. That led to a beautiful lasting relationship between my son and others which in turn, led to another social group and friendships. So even if it may seem like work, it could lead to some pretty cool things. 

Another serendipitous moment happened when we went to a Family Night, it was held once a month at this place where the kids and their parents would socialize with one another. In that particular group, though, a lot of the content was geared to younger kids and my son was well passed that age group. We hoped that some older kids would attend, but we persisted and we discovered my son enjoyed and was great at helping the younger kids. Now I help facilitate the group and yes, some older kids come and my son has made friends. It may have taken awhile but it happened! So we learned to persevere.

I often think about the future and what an event or opportunity might lead to. Is there an event or group that needs someone to help out or volunteer? This could lead to something that is rich and rewarding for your child, perhaps something like scouts, guides, groups, etc. For me, volunteering has opened up the opportunity to making something work.

The Internet plays a big part in my search for things to do on a budget, including community opportunities, ideas, and even visuals. I have searched virtual tours, and my son and I have been able to “go” on an African Safari, enjoy zoo visits, tour our provincial government house, and enjoy museums. My son enjoys traveling through the internet and will explore Canada, Europe and other countries. From there, we look up cultures, etc., and even try our hand at making something from that country. We’ve also found virtual events, activities and groups such as art projects and support groups.

We have used Skype or Zoom as a tool for peer get togethers. We talk to the others prior to these events to make sure ahead of time we have the same things on both ends such as the same board game (make sure they are the same make), video games, movies, baking, etc. For online board games, each person moves all the players so each one can see where everyone is on the board. Exercising together such as walking on the same spot, dancing and playing music together has been successful. And of course, just talking together, even online, is useful and enjoyable. Our rule though is to use it safely.

Recently, our church has gone online, using both Zoom and Facebook. We told our minister how helpful it is to have services and activities on Facebook and Zoom so my son can watch something as many times as he wants to in order to better understand.

Watch social media such as Facebook groups for information, opinions and activities. I have found lots of interesting information on selected topics. For instance, the Elections Canada site is a jackpot of resources related to the electoral process. The Veteran Affairs website offers resources for Remembrance Day. If you are homeschooling, Mel Academy is helpful. It’s a bit pricey for a yearly subscription, but it has extensive supplies for chemistry activities. Kiwi Crate offers subscriptions with various options. We selected the Tinker Crate one, and it was easy to follow. It included some easy circuits (the kits are user friendly) and offered positive reinforcement, with a tangible at the end that the student can use. These can as well be used by anyone.

I have found that learning about, and positively engaging with our public services is important for several reasons. First, greater safety for your child and ensuring access to public services are so important. We contacted first responders (e.g., Fire Hall), to ask them about programs and ways to learn about their services; this is so important as it is often complex and intimidating to navigate and engage with these services. Emergency response services host open houses. We have found it helpful to communicate about what we need at these events.

Parks Canada is another example of a helpful resource. We contact different parks to see if they have anything that they can send us through the mail. Federal, provincial, and even local jurisdictions may have informative and interesting events happening. We’ve often gone to a provincial park for their information sessions on various topics such as geocaching, snowshoeing and other interests. In the course of these sessions, we learned that the park we frequently visited had a variety of backpacks of different themes that could be borrowed.

In seeking to ensure that the needs of my child (and others with disabilities in our community) are better supported, accessing our local MLA, MP or other elected officials in federal, provincial or municipal governments as appropriate, has been helpful. In those conversations, it is important to not just identify what is needed, but also what is working – so that change is sought and the existing good things continue. 

When the municipal election was held in our city, my son was invited to help. I saw this as a way to have a voice in seeking what would help, things that work, etc. Also, we learned lots about civic issues such as what a by-election means. As my son met the requirements to vote in a by-election, we bought a membership not for the idea of being a part of the party per se, but rather because it offered learning and experience of being involved in civic life and voting. This experience really helped when he voted federally when he was of age. I have found that Elections Canada is a good resource for learning about elections and government and addresses variety of age groups.

Finally, it may be of interest to keep an eye out for municipal, provincial and/or federal government awards and groups. In our province, a friend learned about the great kid award. We applied for the award, and my son received it! There are also various opportunities such as for youth to work as pages and participants on youth councils. These are all learning experiences and character-building opportunities.

Without realizing that we were doing so, it occurred to me that we were consistently going to the same stores over time. What we were doing actually, was creating a safe place for my son to gain skills in the stores as the staff got familiar with him. Over time, this proved to be a safety net and opportunity for learning. I also have a friend that lived in small quarters, and as a family they enjoyed reading at the local bookstore. Make sure to thank businesses and let them know if something is working or successful. I have sometimes also made a gentle suggestion for something that would make an opportunity work better for my son. Importantly, we have found that many businesses and personnel want to be inclusive and are open to ideas that would help achieve that goal.

We look for ways to give back or volunteer in our community. What you choose, of course, will be unique to you and your family. For us, we volunteer in our church and have become ‘snow angels’ (shovelling snow for neighbours). As noted, my son volunteered to help with a municipal election in our city, which in turn, created ways in which we could have a voice in conveying what worked as well as what was lacking in the community. 

We have engaged in research projects, with the aim of contributing and hopefully helping others on their journey. What has resulted from these experiences, is more than I would have thought. Unexpected surprises have resulted, including new friendships for both my son and I, and even support when we particularly needed it. We have made a point of filling out surveys, attending town hall meetings, etc. where municipal, provincial and/or federal governments are looking for input about what may be needed in the area. We respond honestly and tactfully in seeking to get our point across. The result of one of these experiences was that they facilitated a new resource. This has taught me that you never know what can come from connection. Engaging and contributing are so important, because it not only offers a way to give back, but it also can lead to so much more for your child and family.

We engage in activities at gyms and fitness programs because physical fitness helps my son stay healthy both physically and mentally. YMCAs in our community offer subsidies for people with financial need. And city recreation programs have discounted or free services/programs for individuals with disabilities. Check with your local recreational centre for accessible programs and subsidies/discounts.

In our community, Canadian Adaptive Snowsports (CADS) is a group that supports people with disabilities on the ski slopes. This resource has been amazing for my son as he learned that he enjoyed being just like everyone else, and having fun on the hills – with the support he needs for success. He has grown in so many ways from this group. He has also enjoyed participating in groups such as Special Olympics and Challenger Baseball. Check your region for local chapters of such resources. 

In thinking about staying active, there are so many ways to engage in fun activities. Geocaching can be a fun way to engage the whole family. It offers learning in so many ways – mapping, way-finding, seeking a treasure (delayed gratification for one’s hard work), etc. Initially buying the device is a cost, but you have repeated access to this activity over time. We tried this out for free at a provincial park event in our area which gave us an idea of what it was like. And in the process, we found another group that offered additional activities. There are places and websites that will explain both how it works as well as the rules to follow.

If you look around – searching for community events in local newspapers or other venues – you may find some cool things to try. Through the news and information shared by one of our support persons, I discovered free online courses that were available through many universities and colleges in Canada and internationally. As I signed up for one, then two courses, my son looked at me with this wonderful expression. I have been his homeschool teacher and for him, it was, ‘Wait... Now my mom is learning too!” He loved that idea! Now he asks me if I have done my homework! Yup, a bit of a role reversal and I think he loves that. And I can say that it has helped me in terms of self care... something that, if you are like me, often gets missed by us parents. By the way, anyone can sign up for these courses!

Our challenge is to always be on the ‘look out’ for services. As an example, my son was fortunate to have had a service dog until she earned her butterfly wings. We found out about how to access a service dog through the news. There are many different sources to find information, including the media/social media, internet, TV, and talking in person. (In terms of accessing information for a service dog when seen in public, one rule is ‘don’t distract the dog’, but you can see where they came from via the badge on their jacket. And then you can search for that organization and inquire.)

We have enjoyed cultural institutions such as libraries, art venues, the local zoo, and museums. We have found that a membership for the museum close to us is actually quite reasonable, and the museum was very accommodating, including asking us for our input. The local Science Centre was the same. I can’t say enough about these resources. Staff have even got to know my son to create a positive experience for him, and have shared with him about a new venue that they thought he might enjoy. We have engaged in Home Education groups through the Science Centre that were beyond amazing and I thought were very reasonable! And sometimes I have found some great learning and sensory items in the gift shops of these venues.

I’ve found that most of these venues accept the Access 2 Card which makes it more affordable to access them more often. The Access 2 Card can be applied for through Easter Seals, and we love it. It has helped us cost-wise; you pay for the person with the disability, but the accompanying caregiver or support person is admitted for free (see information about this Card in Appendix A at the end of this Toolkit).

Try things out and observe how your child responds. For instance, when we are in groups of peers (e.g., engaging in a board game), watch to see what your child and the group is gravitating towards. If it is something new, try to access that game, for example, before the group meets again and learn the game. This approach has been really positive for us. In another instance, my son’s aide suggested that he introduce two of his clients that were similar in areas of interest. He believed they would get along well, and engaging together would allow them to socialize. All agreed and the two of them loved these experiences, and look forward to spending time together.  

We have made our own visuals and manipulatives to learn things such as how to use a PIN number for a bank card, as well as learning our telephone number and address. We found a picture that looked similar to a debit machine. I laminated the bank card visual, and added Velcro to the PIN pad where the numbers would be. Then we cut out the numbers so they would fit on the PIN pad, and laminated those and added Velcro. My son got the feeling of pushing the numbers on the PIN pad, and we would add them as he "punched them in" such that they would appear on the pad. We enacted a similar process to learn our phone number and address. It is a great way to get creative and learn these sorts of skills in a manner that works for your child.

We often need to “think outside the box” for many things. As an example, if I find something like a game, I often think about how I can adapt it to support a skill that my son is working on. I’ve joined Facebook groups of people with similar interests. I look for new ideas and if a resource is shared, I will look into it further. Pinterest (https://www.pinterest.ca/) is a good resource for needed supplies. The Dollar Store has inexpensive items and if they break, its not a big issue. I’ve found that one resource will lead to another resource. If we are playing a game – especially a learning or educational type game – I will see if there is a website and more games that would help us. 

If services are available, we tend to use them. We also try to keep the doors open; sometimes we have reached out to them to seek out other ideas and approval for additional resources. In terms of funding, we keep our government-funded contracts open as it is easier to access funding etc. for things such as camps that may fill up quickly. If you close a contract of a funder, you may have to start the application process all over again to ultimately access the same services. And if so, there may be delays.

As my son has gotten older and become an adult, I ensured that all required documents etc. (e.g., for guardianship) were done before he turned 18. If needed, check with your social worker or service provider to see if there is an agency or support person who can help with this process. We looked for agencies and programs that could help with this transition, and support resources for an adult with a disability. As we hear about such resources, we keep a list for our reference. And as noted earlier, family and friends are great for finding resources!

All of these elements may sound good, but what is most important to keep in mind is the interests, strengths, and needs of the person with disabilities. I make a point of asking my son what he wants, and letting him feel (and indeed be) central in his decisions. For him at times, this may look like a guided type of questions, prompting, etc., but at the core, I deeply listen to him and honor his wishes. We also keep a record of what we have done, so we can refer back to it when needed.

As you have read, we have created a village of various supports and resources, including but not limited to, our family, friends, professionals, agencies, etc. These people and resources contribute in various ways, but each and every one is important to us. This didn't happen overnight, but through time, and patience, we and especially my son have created our network. They are our village – and you likely have one too (and/or can create your village). Truly, I never knew how big our village was until I sat down one day and thought about it.

To find your resources, realize that it takes time. Some of these ideas may, I hope, offer something to think about or make your journey a little easier. Most of all, know that you are not alone on this journey. There are many parents and caregivers, like myself and you, that are out there. We are part of a community – working together for each other and our kids.