A woman getting conflicting instructions from multiple people at once
Toolkit

Ableism: The Autistic Experience

Maxine Share
Ableism comprises beliefs, policies and actions that disadvantage disabled people by prioritizing the needs of the non-disabled majority. This toolkit describes ableism, and the impact of internalized ableism. Ableism must be confronted and rejected to achieve true acceptance of Autistic people.

Contents

 

Introduction

Ableism is not a trendy buzzword; it is a powerful term that captures how society discriminates against and views as inferior those who are different from the able-bodied majority—specifically those with physical, intellectual or mental health differences. Ableism refers to a deeply ingrained set of societal beliefs, practices, policies and actions that put disabled people at a disadvantage by prioritizing the norms or expectations of the non-disabled majority. This predominant mindset profoundly impacts our lives as Autistic individuals.

 

What’s In this Toolkit?

This toolkit is designed to help Autistic adults understand what ableism is and how it may be expressed through actions or words in society by non-disabled people, employers, and those in social service agencies, schools, health care, and public spaces. Readers can expect to gain insight into how ableism has created barriers in our lives as Autistic individuals.

We will also investigate the role of internalized ableism (accepting negative perceptions about Autistic people) in encouraging negative thoughts about ourselves. This toolkit will list commonly experienced challenges connected to internalized ableism. Finally, we will conclude with strategies to help you counter the influence ableism may have had in the paths you have chosen so far.

 

Learning Objectives of the Toolkit

This toolkit will broadly define ableism, with a focus on its impacts on those who are Autistic. The toolkit also will explore what ableism can look like from the perspective of individuals or family members and in our systems of support. It also will explore ‘internalized ableism’—when the disabled person accepts the myths and misconceptions about their disability. The toolkit will provide ideas to address ableism when you experience it, and how you may recover from the effects it can have on your life.

 

A Word of Caution and Consideration

It is important to validate that not all Autistics view themselves as disabled. Some describe their differences and Autistic traits as struggles or challenges rather than disabilities. It is also important to recognize that many of our Autistic peers feel disabled by the constant ableism they have encountered throughout their lifetime.

In many instances, it is the denial of support, services, or accommodations that cause disability. That makes sense: refusing to provide a person with what they need to achieve goals or complete tasks can mean that the person cannot do those things. If a person cannot write with pen and paper due to muscle tone and motor issues, without the support of technology or a scribe, they would be disabled in the area of written communication. Until accommodations and considerations are available to all Autistic people who need them without fear of reprisal, many will continue to be disabled. As a community, we still have much work to do.


Back to Top

 

What is Ableism?

Ableism is not a new buzzword. It is a term that reflects ongoing oppression of disabled people. Ableism is actually a social construct operating on the premise that non-disabled people are superior to those who are disabled. It manifests and maintains its belief in the superiority of those who are non-disabled with entrenched bias, systemic discrimination, prejudice, stereotyping and actions that target and perpetuate the oppression of disabled people.

Who, then, is considered a disabled person in an ableist society? Ableism upholds societal standards considered to be ‘the norm’. Those who do not fit ‘the norm’ include those who are not able-bodied, who struggle with mental health disorders, and whose intellect or cognition means they think, rationalize, and problem-solve in ways that are outside of what society deems is standard or acceptable. The consequence of ableism is the blatant oppression of those with disabilities, along with prejudiced attitudes that perpetuate a myth that disabled people are somehow less capable and of less value to our communities than those without disability.

The cost of ableism to disabled people in general and Autistic people specifically is high. Consider: disabled people have lower levels of employment than the general population (with Autistic people experiencing the highest levels of unemployment of all disability groups). Autistic people experience lower earnings, more discrimination in the workplace and education systems, achieve less education, and more barriers to health care than non-disabled people.


Back to Top

 

Where Do We Find Ableism?

Ableist attitudes and beliefs are so deeply embedded in our collective psyche that people, workplaces and systems of support aren’t always aware that they are being ableist. Intentionally or unintentionally, there is evidence that ableist practices and mindsets prioritize and elevate non-disabled people and oppress disabled people. This prevents Autistic people from enjoying full and equal participation in their communities.

Ableism can be identified in our medical system, schools, urban planning, and government agencies; it is practiced by individuals, corporations, for profit and non-profit groups—and is so ingrained in our cultures that even disabled people may buy into the beliefs that are reinforced in so many corners of our society. This is called internalized ableism and will be more deeply discussed in another part of this toolkit.

People will experience different types of ableism depending on whether they have a visible or invisible disability. Those with mobility or other visible physical conditions may experience ableism in different ways than those with whose disability is not immediately apparent. Physically disabled people might experience barriers that include the absence of ramps, working elevators (or any elevator), doorways that accommodate wheelchairs or walkers, or braille messaging systems for blind or low vision people to read instructions in public spaces. Each may face discrimination and oppression in different ways.

As Autistic people, we are among those vulnerable to ableist attitudes and conventions that minimize our value to society. Many ways in which we may experience our autism as disabling are invisible to others or are caused by society’s refusal to support our ways of interacting with others, experiencing the sensory world, or ways of perceiving, thinking, and learning. The often ‘invisible’ nature of autism can lead society to mischaracterize our intentions, doubt the legitimacy of our diagnosis, and believe we can simply ‘make a choice’ to abide by societal standards. We also bear the brunt of stereotypes that conclude we are socially inept, emotionally distant and intellectually lacking. Ableism can be demonstrated by insistence we hide our stims, demanding we provide eye contact, or by dismissing Autistic job applicants due to incorrect beliefs regarding our abilities and behaviours, or by denying accommodations.

Autistics who are non-speakers and communicate with alternative methods are often prejudged as having nothing of value to contribute to conversations, and those who cannot control their motor movements or vocalizations may be ostracized by society for making others feel uncomfortable. Autistics with co-occurring physical ailments such as Ehlers Danlos Syndrome, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, autoimmune conditions or hypotonia (low muscle tone) may experience a combination of ableist actions that present not only physical or policy barriers to accessing services, employment or school, but also attitudes that demonstrate rejection of one’s unique Autistic ways of thinking and interacting with other people.

Ableist attitudes cast Autistic intentions and communication in a negative light, often failing to provide consistent and reliable accessibility, and posing insurmountable physical barriers to full participation in society. These barriers can be as overt as broken down or non-existent escalators or elevators at all subway stops, or entrenched hiring practices that insist all candidates must be interviewed in the same manner and environment.


Back to Top

 

How Ableism is Perpetuated by Society and Media

One of the most abhorrent aspects of ableism are the prejudices and mischaracterizations that perpetuate misunderstanding of disability. These prejudices and mischaracterizations affect how Autistic individuals are portrayed in the media and in our cultures. There are six key ideas or fallacies that shape society’s understanding of disability.

Fallacies:

  1. The fallacy that disabled people are a burden to their families and society.
    • ­As an example, Raymon Babbitt, an Autistic savant in the movie Rain Man, is considered a burden by his brother
    • ­News media reports convey ideas on how difficult it is to raise and care for a disabled child, evoking sympathy for parents.
    • ­In very rare and extreme cases, disabled individuals have even been murdered by caregivers.1
  2. Prejudiced media representations, where disabled people are cast as evil or sinister.
    • ­Think Darth Vader in Star Wars, the Joker from Batman, or Igor from Frankenstein.
  3. Perceptions that disabled people are considered karma or payback for past bad deeds
    • ­As an example, Harvey Dent / Two-Face from the Batman.
  4. Disabled people are pitied.
    • ­Like Charlie from the movie ‘The Whale’.
  5. Autistics may be portrayed as tragic victims of an epidemic.
    • ­Notable in the marketing campaigns of some autism non-profits.
  6. Autistics may be used as “inspiration” when they exceed the low bar set by non-disabled society.
    • ­Examples include Forrest Gump from the movie of the same name, or Stephen Hawkings in the movie ‘The Theory of Everything.’


Back to Top

 

This is Ableism – Examples in Society

For the Autistic person who may experience areas of disability, there is much value in learning about ableism. It can help to understand where the common Autistic experience of negative self-talk may have had its origins in their life, or that it is ableism that created barriers to achieving life goals – not a weakness of character on the part of the Autistic person.

Do you feel like ableism may have played a role in how you or an Autistic person you know, love, or work with may be experiencing the world?

Below are six examples of ableism that Autistic people may experience in our society—from schools, workplaces, employers, healthcare, public spaces, social services and from family or friends. Ableism affects Autistic people in many aspects of life and is not limited to the six following areas. Rather, ableism is all around us. But here are some examples.

 

  1. General education teachers aren’t required to know how to teach Autistic students. Schools focus on typical learners, thus too often leaving Autistic students struggling to keep up with expectations.
  2. Teachers and support staff in schools may demand eye contact, which can overwhelm Autistic students. This demonstrates a lack of understanding of averted gaze for some Autistic students.It should be respected, not corrected.
  3. Autistic students may need quiet spaces to retreat but might be accused of avoiding work when they request this accommodation. This judgement may discourage them from seeking calming spaces when overwhelmed.
  4. Schools often remove supports once the student improves, not acknowledging those supports caused the improvement and are essential to maintain.
  5. Autistic students may be reprimanded for Autistic communication differences, with monotone voices or direct, blunt responses being characterized as rude, provocative, or inattentive.
  6. Group work often disadvantages Autistic students when the group dynamic leaves them with tasks that may be very difficult for them, or they miss out on contributing in an area in which they excel. This happens when Autistic students are unable to advocate for themselves or agree to whatever others tell them to do in order to avoid conflict.
  7. Autistic students may be shamed for stimming or doodling, though these actions may be the very thing that allows them to pay attention to a lesson or lecture.
  8. Educators may not follow Individual Education Plans due to lack of resources or knowledge of how and when to provide a suggested support. Schools don’t consistently enforce the requirement to follow this legal document. Compliance may depend on the attitude of school administration and can vary within school districts.
  9. Autistic students are bullied more often than their typical peers. They may be blamed for the bullying, with staff or peers suggesting it was the Autistic student’s behaviours that provoked the bullying behaviour from another student.
  10. Schools may modify the curriculum rather than provide accommodations, which can prevent Autistic students from earning a diploma. Modification means removing the parts of the curriculum that the student is not capable of learning or cannot learn within a typical approach. Accommodations, on the other hand, provide the learning approaches required, but often cost the school in terms of staffing and resources.

We look forward to a future where ableist experiences like this are not part of a child’s education years. In inclusive, non-ableist schools, Autistic students will thrive in environments tailored to their strengths and where needs are consistently supported.

General education teachers will be well-trained, confident in their ability to support neurodiverse learners, and equipped with support staff and resources they need to help Autistic students succeed. Individual Education Plans will be followed by everyone who works with these students, appreciating how important the considerations are to the child’s well-being.

Autistic traits and behaviours will not be stigmatized, but respected. Quiet spaces will be made available without judgment, academic support will stay in place as long as needed, and a lack of eye contact will not be called out. Staff will prioritize accommodations over modifications where possible, allowing students who are able to keep up with their peers.

Awareness of ableist practices and protocols can improve the school experiences for Autistic students, their families, and the dedicated professionals who teach them.

  1. Bright lighting, crowded waiting rooms, strong smells, people crying, and physical touch from healthcare staff can overwhelm Autistic patients. This can increase anxiety, provoke coping behaviours and decrease communication capacity.
  2. Healthcare staff may excessively attribute symptoms to one’s autism diagnosis. Serious conditions can be missed when this happens. This has a name – it is called ‘diagnostic overshadowing’.
  3. Autistic patients may not be provided with alternate forms of communication such as pen and paper, or a selection of prepared visuals. Staff may not give the Autistic patient needed time to process information and respond. They may dismiss symptoms because the Autistic person does not appear distressed.
  4. Self-reported pain may not be taken seriously due to sensory differences. When someone who is less sensitive to pain reports their pain as a 2 on a scale of 1-10, this can mask serious issues. There is a danger of not ordering tests that would identify painful conditions such as kidney infections, appendicitis, and more, as the Autistic patient is sent home and told to follow up with their primary care physician.
  5. Psychiatric medications are often prescribed without trying to identify the root causes of symptoms, leading to overmedication and underlying issues remaining unaddressed.2
  6. Healthcare providers often give verbal instructions. Autistic patients may need both written and verbal instructions in order to follow medical advice correctly. Not routinely offering this accommodation assumes all patients are neurotypical and not in need of other options.
  7. Transportation challenges due to finances, sensory issues, or lack of support can limit access to healthcare for Autistic people. Crowded buses, engine noises, announcements and sudden stops can mean public transit is not an option.
  8. Autistic patients may be rushed into decisions without time to process or ask questions. They may be unable to disagree with recommendations from the doctor because they struggle to self-advocate.
  9. Healthcare providers may speak to a support person instead of directly to the Autistic patient, wrongly assuming that the patient lacks agency, intelligence and autonomy regarding health decisions.
  10. Food and sleep are critical to recovery, but hospitalized Autistic patients may struggle to get sufficient nutrition and sleep. Intolerable food choices can lead to overall weakness or malnutrition. Uncomfortable beds, the beeping of machines, and frequent awakenings for medications can result in poor sleep.

In an ableism-free healthcare system, Autistic patients will have the opportunity to share their neurodivergence along with any sensory or communication needs during assessment and intake. Medical environments will be adjusted—quiet waiting areas with low lighting will be provided, and alternative communication tools will be offered and readily available. Healthcare staff will carefully consider all symptoms and will not attribute symptoms to the autism diagnosis. The patient will feel heard and validated. Healthcare staff will provide both verbal and clear, written instructions for the next steps. Autistic patients will have time to process information and participate in decisions by asking questions. If it is their preference, Autistic people can have a trusted companion in the healthcare encounter. Autistic people will be provided transportation for medical appointments, removing barriers to healthcare access.

This approach will allow Autistic people to experience healthcare that truly meets their needs.

  1. Employers may judge Autistic candidates for traits like averted gaze, delayed responses, or voice tone and therefore overlook them despite their qualifications.
  2. Autistic employees may be under-employed; for instance, they may be assigned menial tasks that do not recognize their education, skills or experience.
  3. Employers may refuse to provide essential accommodations, such as refusing to provide interview questions in advance or not allowing written responses. These practices can exclude Autistic job candidates from being hired.
  4. Employers may deny accommodations like flexible hours, sensory tools, or alternate seating arrangements. This kind of workplace rigidity can greatly impede employment success, forcing Autistic employees to resign when they can no longer cope without supports.
  5. Autistic employees may be told not to stim such as rocking, or not to use sensory tools like weighted lap pads or sunglasses. Denial of these necessary supports negatively impacts the well-being of the Autistic employee.
  6. When an Autistic employee is unable to attend work-related social events like baby showers or holiday parties, they may be judged as anti-social.
  7. Autistic workers often remain in entry-level jobs while less-qualified colleagues are promoted, resulting in lower wages and underemployment.
  8. Pressure exists for Autistic employees to mask their identity, engage in small talk, and feign interest, thereby reinforcing non-Autistic norms at the cost of personal well-being.
  9. Employers may hire Autistic employees for appearances, but fail to give them meaningful work, disregarding their abilities and education. This is tokenism.
  10. Some workplaces have a culture that believes deeply in equity, so, for example, they don’t wait for interviewees to request sensory accommodations, flexible work hours, or mentoring—they offer it. Other workplaces, despite superficially promoting diversity, view accommodations as burdensome, onerous, and costly, and give preferential treatment to non-Autistic workers.

In a world without ableism, Autistic individuals thrive in workplaces that value their strengths and provide the accommodations they need.

Interviews and work environments are designed to support diverse communication and sensory needs while stimming and other self-regulating behaviours are fully accepted. Autistic employees are promoted based on merit, not social expectations, and their contributions are genuinely valued.

With mutual respect and inclusivity at the core, everyone is empowered to succeed.

  1. A parent impatiently tells you to stop being picky and difficult and “choose something already!” when she takes you to a restaurant for lunch.
  2. Your aunt sees you rocking and picking the skin around your nails at a family get-together. She says you look strange and need to stop that.
  3. Your father is constantly finishing your sentences because he feels you take too long to get your words out.
  4. Your sister is getting married and wants a strobe light to be part of the dance floor set-up. She refuses to reconsider even though you cannot tolerate that kind of lighting.
  5. You are a high school student and recently, peers have begun using ‘Autistic’ as a slur. They may say to a friend, “You dropped your lunch tray all over the floor. You are so Autistic.”
  6. You dread going to your great-aunt’s home because she reeks of perfume and hugs you tightly. You’ve told your parents for years that you cannot tolerate this, but they say you must visit and hug aunty.
  7. A mosquito is flying near you, and you panic, as you run around screaming and flail your arms. Your family laughs at you and tells you to stop being so dramatic.
  8. Your mother introduces you to a friend from her work. The friend speaks loudly to you in a singsong, high-pitched voice, carefully enunciating each word. She talks to you as if you are a child.
  9. You are going to see movie with your older brother. He sees a group of his friends and says to you, “Act normal, bro.”
  10. You’ve loved trains since childhood and are doing a master’s degree in mechanical engineering and hoping for a career as a railway engineer. Your mother has warned you not to talk about trains at the family function she is hosting.

 

In a world without ableism, friends and family would honour their Autistic loved ones’ needs and preferences without question. Instead of pushing them to “choose something already” at a restaurant, they would patiently offer time and support, understanding sensory sensitivities.

When noticing someone rocking or picking at their skin, they would ask if they’re feeling anxious and offer help rather than criticism. Bright, uncomfortable lights at a wedding or overwhelming perfume and tight hugs from relatives would be reconsidered to ensure their comfort.

Rather than policing behaviour with “act normal,” loved ones would embrace their Autistic family member’s natural ways of being, valuing their unique perspectives and passions.

  1. Public spaces like libraries, grocery stores, hospitals, malls, Service Canada or provincial service offices do not commonly offer quiet, low-sensory zones.
  2. Police officers may raise their voices to Autistic people for not responding immediately to commands or interrogate them after deciding they are suspicious for lack of eye contact.
  3. An Autistic person may be flagged for additional security screening if they struggle to process instructions in an anxiety-provoking situation such as a customs checkpoint.
  4. Touching someone without warning like in airport security body pat downs disregards Autistic sensory processing differences and the need for Autistic people to know in advance what to expect.
  5. Ticket checkers on public transport may fine and eject an Autistic person for not producing a receipt for a ticket purchase. The Autistic person may not remember where they put the receipt or be able to respond to the accusations in order to avoid the consequences.
  6. Autistic people may face public suspicion or be asked to leave spaces due to stimming behaviours that people claim are disruptive.
  7. Public transport systems are often loud and crowded, and few offer accommodations for the sensory experiences of Autistic passengers. Most do not offer quiet zones.
  8. Public areas may not provide clear, straightforward signs, making navigation difficult for Autistic individuals. Rather, this sends unclear, confusing and potentially overwhelming messages.
  9. Public transportation routes may make long-term route changes due to construction or budget cuts that leave the Autistic person without a way to get to their workplace, appointments, or social engagements.
  10. Automatic flush toilets and hand dryers in public restrooms that are loud, and startling can trigger anxiety in Autistic people who cannot cope with these sudden and/or loud sounds.

 

In a world free from ableism, public spaces and workers will accommodate the diverse needs of Autistic people, prioritizing inclusivity and respect.

Libraries, grocery stores, and transit systems will offer low-sensory zones and times. Police officers, security personnel, and ticket-checkers will know that lack of eye contact or delayed responses are differences in communication, not signs of suspicion or guilt.

Public workers and all will view stimming as a natural self-regulation strategy, celebrating it as part of human diversity rather than something to be feared or shamed.

In this world, the public realm will embrace neurodivergence, making every environment a welcoming and accessible place for everyone.

  1. Social services staff may not offer the Autistic person alternative ways to respond when being interviewed or when they need to have questions clarified and answered, resulting in lost opportunities for help.
  2. Autistic people may be visually overwhelmed with lengthy forms with vague or ambiguous language.
  3. Social services workers may misinterpret Autistic behaviours such as repeated missed or late appointments or taking a long time to respond to questions as disinterest or a lack of compliance and then deny them service.
  4. Most social services for Autistic are aimed at children, and adult Autistics are left to navigate any challenges in the absence of services created for them.
  5. Some social programs effectively exclude Autistic people by not providing support to make their participation possible.
  6. Autistic individuals, who commonly struggle with conflict and self-advocacy are not offered advocates to help them identify ways our systems of support can be of assistance.
  7. Social services professionals may assume that Autistic people lack the ability to make their own choices about any care or support they receive or where and with whom they live.
  8. Parents who are Autistic may be judged as unfit simply for having an autism diagnosis and may experience many interactions with children’s protective services as a result. This can lead to trauma and distrust of various critical services, such as education and healthcare, as they raise their children.
  9. Autistic people may face longer wait times for services due to miscommunication or lack of autism understanding from service providers. This can be exacerbated when phone calls or emails are not returned in a timely manner, something that can happen due to Autistic experiences with executive dysfunctions, anxiety, and communication differences.
  10. Social services staff who determine eligibility for financial help may deny support to Autistic applicants with ‘invisible autism” who are unable to characterize in their applications how challenges with life skills, executive functioning, mental health, sensory/motor, and interacting with others are disabling.

In a world without ableism, social care services for Autistic people will provide multiple ways to respond during interviews and needs assessments and ensure clear communication.

Forms will be concise, avoiding overwhelming or vague language. Social services workers will recognize behaviours like missed appointments or slow responses as communication differences, not non-compliance.

Adult Autistics will have services tailored to them, and they will have support for participation in social programs.

Advocates will be available to help those who struggle with conflict or self-advocacy. Autistic parents won’t face unjust scrutiny, and services will be accessible regardless of whether someone’s autism is visible or not.


Back to Top

 

Summary

Ableism affects Autistic people in many aspects of life and is not limited to the six areas where we’ve provided examples. Ableism is all around us.

  • Consider the salesperson or bank teller becoming impatient when an Autistic person can’t quickly find their bank card in a cluttered purse,
  • Malls that don’t provide quiet, sensory-friendly spaces,
  • Barriers created by government protocols offering limited ways to communicate to get information,
  • Blatant “no abuse” messages or signage in disability offices that imply alterative questioning or ways of being might be construed as abusive and the person may be removed from the premises.

Even human rights organizations whose application processes are lengthy and confusing, create hurdles for Autistic people to have their complaints heard. Ableism is rife in our society.

Though this was mentioned briefly earlier in the toolkit, it is important to remember that Autistic people may have both visible and invisible disabilities, and they may have different experiences in society as a result.  Some Autistics are limited in their ability to fully explore and utilize their towns and cities because they use wheelchairs, walkers, braces, or canes, and some may be unclear about how to access what they need.

Non-disabled people have some understanding or views about needs associated with a physical disability, and so they may hold a door open for an Autistic person in a wheelchair. However, the Autistic person may also experience being infantilized or spoken to like a child by that same person. An Autistic with invisible chronic pain from a co-occurring condition like fibromyalgia or Ehlers-Danlos may be verbally assaulted for using a handicapped parking space (with their valid permit!).

Ableism is ubiquitous: it is everywhere around us. Any Autistic person could recount their own stories of feeling excluded, marginalized and discriminated against because of their neurology. Sometimes, the bias against people is so blatant that it is difficult to believe any organization or agency would be so bold as to ignore or condone it.

For example, a learning disability association explicitly excluded Autistic people from joining its social skills group. An autism agency refused an Autistic staff member accommodations when applying for a promotion. The myths and misconceptions surrounding autism continue to impact the way we are perceived and provided with support in our communities.

It may surprise some readers to know that societal institutions and non-disabled people aren’t the only sources of ableist oppression. In the next section, we explore Internalised Ableism—a phenomenon that occurs when a disabled person presumes or accepts the gross misconception that they are inferior to non-disabled people and turns inward those negative attitudes regarding their value and ability.

In short, negative beliefs about disability in general (and for purposes of this toolkit, autism specifically) are absorbed and presumed by the Autistic individual to be accurate.  It is the pervasive nature of ableism that causes the Autistic person to believe its messaging.


Back to Top

 

What is Internalized Ableism?

Unfortunately, the reach of ableism extends beyond beliefs and actions within education, healthcare, employment, public spaces, and among the non-Autistic, non-disabled people that Autistic individuals encounter in their day-to-day lives. Ableist attitudes can infiltrate the hearts and minds of Autistic people, causing them to accept negative perceptions of autism and disability as legitimate.

This can lead Autistic people to reject their Autistic identity and work hard to 'pass' as neurotypical while suppressing their true selves. As they deny their Autistic identity, they blame their challenges and struggles on being defective or having a weak character, rather than recognizing that the real issue is a lack of support, understanding, and acceptance.

Consciously or unconsciously, indoctrinated with the entrenched societal belief in Autistic inferiority and non-disabled superiority, they turn ableism inward in a concept known as internalized ableism.

It may come as a surprise to some Autistic individuals how much they have absorbed and accepted ableist attitudes. They may consciously hide Autistic traits, believing their behavior makes them appear 'weird' or inferior to non-Autistic, non-disabled people. They might come to believe they are less intelligent, less capable, rude, arrogant, antisocial, or simply not trying hard enough. They may change how they dress or style their hair to fit in with their non-Autistic peers, discarding their own preferences. Over time, they internalize societal beliefs about being ‘second-class citizens’ and engage in negative self-talk, chastising themselves for not meeting societal standards. In essence, they oppress themselves. Such experience can be deeply troubling and traumatizing.

For example, if someone interviews for a job but is not offered the position, they may blame themselves for answering incorrectly, taking too long to respond, or struggling to stay on topic. They might become convinced that everything from their outfit to their greeting was wrong or unacceptable. These negative thoughts loop in their minds, magnifying feelings of rejection for not landing a job, and they may ruminate over this for weeks, months or longer. The Autistic person may not consider that ableist hiring practices—such as interviewing Autistic candidates in the same way as non-Autistic ones without offering accommodations—contributed to the challenges they faced. Rather than recognizing that an ableist society, ableist job interview and workplace were to blame for an unsuccessful interview process and ultimately, the lack of a job offers, they blame and entirely fault themselves. 

Similarly, if their living space is disorganized, they may berate themselves for being messy, lazy, or having poor life skills. They internalize the belief that they are inherently lazy and incapable of maintaining a tidy space, without attributing the situation to a lack of tailored support in learning life skills or receiving no help with executive functioning.

The invisible nature of their disability has led society to reject the validity of their needs, and as a result, neither resources nor effort are invested in improving the Autistic experience. Autistic individuals often become aware of their differences at a young age, and experience ableist actions during their formative years. This leads to the early internalization of ableist beliefs—believing they are ‘bad’ for dressing slowly, having meltdowns, not finishing their dinner, being clumsy, or struggling with homework or workplace projects they don’t understand.

As Autistic people grow into adulthood, internalized ableism can have a significant effect on their well-being. They may blame their Autistic identity for not having a partner, not being able to hold a full-time job, or for falling behind their non-Autistic peers in meeting life milestones. Consequences can range from low self-esteem to the chronic masking of Autistic traits, which can contribute to emotional and physical exhaustion, anxiety, and depression. Ultimately, internalized ableism causes individuals to reject themselves with increasing feelings of shame whenever they fail to meet societal standards or milestones.


Back to Top

 

Expressions of Internalized Ableism in Autistic People

Caution: The statements below are ones that some Autistic people have described as part of their internalized monologue or messages to/about themselves. Many of these are very concerning statements. We share these only to illustrate what some have conveyed. We want to emphasize that anything that is derogatory is not true, but society often treats Autistic people in a way that engrains belief in ableist constructs. Is it any wonder that Autistic some people may have these thoughts?

These negative messages call for change in moving to kind and truthful words about the great value of the Autistic person. We must push against the use of such negative messages being perpetuated by entrenched ableism in all aspects of society.

  • I am a burden to my family. They should not be responsible for me in any way at my age.
  • I must hide my Autistic traits and sensory needs even though it exhausts me. I measure my success by how well I ‘pass’ for neurotypical.
  • I believe that neurotypicals are superior to Autistic people. I do whatever they ask to make them like me, even if it is beyond my ability to cope…even if I don’t want to.
  • I am ashamed of needing to stim and try to suppress it all the time
  • I try hard to give eye contact so I can look normal even though it is a terrible feeling. My sensory needs are so weird. What’s wrong with me?
  • I will not ask for accommodations because I can do it. I don’t want people to think I need special attention or that I can’t do it. I’ll be perceived as ‘less than’ by teachers or employers or others, and I don’t want that.
  • I am lazy, strange, and anti-social for doing nothing at all after a full work week or a challenging social event. No wonder I have no friends.
  • I should have my own place by now and not still need help with my household chores. I am a loser.
  • I doubt my diagnosis because I mask so well. I’m smart and I can speak. How can I be Autistic?
  • I should ‘suck it up’ and ‘get over it’ when I am in burnout. I am a weak person.
  • I feel like an imposter when my achievements are recognized. I had accommodations or help from others. Why should I be praised for that? No one else needs help.
  • I am ashamed of being Autistic. I am ‘broken’ and need to be fixed.
  • I believe the message I receive from society is that Autistics are aggressive, lacking empathy, and socially inept. I want nothing to do with the autism community.
  • I don’t apply for promotions because interviews cause me so much anxiety and I refuse to ask for accommodations. They will treat me badly and I won’t get the job.
  • I am to blame for any struggles, challenges, or disability I experience. I don’t blame our ableist society that rejects invisible disabilities.


Back to Top

 

Consequences of Internalized Ableism for Autistic People

It is an unfortunate truth that long-held negative beliefs about disability and stereotypes of Autistic people have permeated more than just our systems of support, communities, and the minds of non-disabled people. To be clear, we can add Autistic people themselves to that list. After years of being subjected to ableist discrimination and prejudice, they can come to believe the highly negative messaging about their neurotype.

Given that Autistic people are subjected to ableist attitudes and practices from early childhood, it is hardly surprising they may come to accept the tenets of ableism—but at what cost? Internalized ableism takes a heavy toll: it can impact well-being and mental health, social connections, and the ability to embrace one’s Autistic identity. Let’s look at how internalized ableism may show up in each of these areas for Autistic people.

Internalized ableism can significantly impact the well-being of Autistic people. Autistic people commonly manifest internalized ableism by trying to suppress or ‘mask’ their Autistic traits in public or social settings with non-Autistic people. They may feel shame around their need to stim (rocking, doodling, finger flicking, or fidgeting with objects, for example) in order to stay focused or calm. They are aware that society rejects these behaviours as odd and the person doing them as ‘weird.’

The Autistic person may expend tremendous energy to hide their stims and other aspects of the Autistic identity when in the company of non-Autistic people. In addition to suppressing stims, they may also follow scripts they have created to participate in social situations. They do this because they are aware that society does not accept the different ways in which Autistic people may interact with others. They may also seek to avoid the shame that can come from disapproving comments or reactions. Masking, also called camouflaging, is the way that Autistic people learn to avoid that sting of disapproval.

If you would like more information on camouflaging and masking, here are some resources on the AIDE Canada website:

Internalized ableism can cause people to tamp down or stop completely engaging in certain behaviours so they can blend in and appear to be neurotypical. This has a significant effect on their well-being. In essence, they hide who they really are as they ‘act’ in ways they believe are acceptable to the non-Autistic, non-disabled majority. It can leave the person emotionally and physically spent, an in a chronic state of stress.

In addition to affecting well-being, internalized ableism (also referred to as internalized stigma) can negatively affect the mental health of Autistic people, including both depression and anxiety.3,4 The constant pressure to mask is emotionally and physically exhausting, which can contribute to Autistic burnout. Burnout is caused by chronic stress, going beyond one’s ability to cope, or masking. This can cause symptoms similar to clinical depression or exacerbate existing symptoms of depression, such as hopelessness, despair, and overwhelming fatigue.5

The ‘need’ to mask can also contribute to anxiety in the Autistic person, as can the fear of being mischaracterized or misjudged. It is important to note that Autistic people have higher rates of suicidal ideation and completed suicides than the general population. The hopelessness that can result in suicidal thoughts or actions may arise from internalized ableism, which may, in turn, be linked to the hopelessness Autistic people can feel when their mindset is informed by ableism. Research has found that internalized stigma is associated with suicide in Autistic adults, though additional research is needed on this topic.6

Another way in which internalized ableism affects Autistic people is in their relationships and social connections. While connecting to peers in the Autistic community can be very helpful for Autistic people, acceptance of ableist views can cause Autistic people to avoid interaction with other Autistic people. They may reject participation in Autistic support groups or social groups because they want no association with their neurotype. Instead, as they continue to mask in an effort to ‘pass’ as neurotypical, they deliberately spurn any connection to a community where they could be themselves.

Autistics who reject other Autistic people may have neurotypical acquaintances. There are no evidence-based statistics on how many of these acquaintances turn into good-quality friendships where the two spend time together and share personal experiences and interests. In being unable to embrace their Autistic identity, the Autistic person blocks a whole community of people with whom they share an identity, and likely would not have to hide or explain themselves. They feel out of sync with both neurotypical and neurodivergent people. This can magnify the sense of isolation and loneliness.

When internalized ableism leads an Autistic person to reject anyone who is Autistic, it can also limit the opportunity for long-term romantic relationships for those interested in a life partner. There has been research showing that Autistics partnered with other Autistics are more satisfied in their relationship than those paired with non-Autistics, where they are always trying to hide their Autistic traits.7 Autistics who find romance with a non-Autistic may find themselves in relationships with a power imbalance, constantly deferring to their neurotypical partner so as not to upset them or because they feel their partner is superior to them.

Beyond friendship and romantic opportunities, the Autistic community represents the chance to socialize with others where masking is not a requirement—where you are accepted for who you are. Renouncing other Autistics and the Autistic community creates significant barriers to finding good-quality, supportive friendships and relationships.

An Autistic person’s sense of self can also be harmed when internalized ableism causes ableist beliefs to inform their understanding of themselves. With ingrained ableist beliefs insisting that the way they are is ‘broken,’ defective, and unacceptable to others, there is ongoing internal pressure to always suppress Autistic traits, to hide who they are at any cost. These individuals can engage in negative self-talk8 that reinforces and devalues their worth as a result of internalized ableism.

They may tell themselves they are a burden to family and to society, incapable of achieving their career or personal goals, and/or are not good enough for anyone to love them. Such negative self-talk may reinforce a misguided disdain for being Autistic. It can fuel continued masking traits which might reveal their identity and expose them to ridicule or judgment. They may perceive their Autistic behaviours, such as those related to sensory experiences, with scorn or shame. Autistic people sometimes describe self-loathing as they relentlessly criticize themselves.8


Back to Top

 

Recovering from Internalized Ableism

Reclaiming Your Autistic Identity

Internalized ableism occurs when a disabled person accepts the idea that those with any form of disability are inferior to those without it. When an Autistic person sees themselves through this lens, it can create some unique and difficult challenges related to mental health, connecting with others, and having an authentic sense of self. Suppose an Autistic person discovers they hold internalized ableist beliefs that inform their decisions and negatively impact their life. In that case, they may begin looking for answers to the question: how can I break free from this destructive way that I see myself in the world? Here are some strategies that can be helpful:

  • Knowledge is power. Learn all you can about yourself from neurodiversity-affirming sources. Know what autism means for you: how does it affect your communication, and how you experience the physical/sensory world? When you know yourself and can identify experiences that are disabling for you, you’re closer to knowing what you need to advocate for in terms of accommodations or support you require.
  • Immerse yourself in first-hand, ‘own voices’ content by enjoying books, podcasts, YouTube videos and other social media formats created by Autistics. Being connected to Autistic people who have stifled the negative voice of internalized ableism to embrace their identity can help to diminish its power over you and help to reclaim your identity.
  • Seek out your Autistic community. Autistic adult ‘meets ups’ and social groups, online or in person, can be helpful as you learn about your autism community. Expect a sense of belonging as you hear others share experiences that resonate with you. You won’t have to mask. In the company of your community, your authentic self can shine through without fear of judgment.
  • Set firm boundaries to keep you safe from people or places who endorse or impose ableism. If your workplace makes accommodations seem bothersome or onerous, that employer may not be the right fit for you. If some family members or others treat you in a condescending manner, try educating them about what it actually means to be Autistic. If they have no interest in learning, consider how much of your time you want to spend with them.
  • Notice when ableist beliefs influence your thoughts and behaviours. You are interviewing for a job, but you don’t want to disclose your Autistic identity. You think it’ll ruin your chances of landing the position because they won’t want the extra work that comes with providing accommodations. That’s internalized ableism. Your family is going to a buffet restaurant to celebrate a birthday. You agree to go, even though the competing smells and crowded environment are too much for you to bear. That’s ableism. After a lifetime of experiencing ableism, it will take time to change the way you respond to these situations.
  • Find a neurodiversity affirming therapist with expertise in autism who respects your communication preferences. Some Autistic therapists can help untangle life traumas that contributed to your internalized ableism, including those caused by feeling isolated, being bullied, and enduring sensory overwhelm. A good therapist can help you to unmask and establish realistic expectations for reducing and coping with internalized ableism.

Learn more here in our course: Discovering Your Autistic Identity: A self-directed course for late-diagnosed autistic adults


Back to Top

 

Additional Advice and Strategies

Know that the neurodiversity movement strongly asserts that neurological differences are not defects to be pathologized or fixed, but rather, they are natural human variations to be embraced. Here are some ways to help to help you embrace your neurodiversity.

  • Don’t hide your stimming. It is natural part of who you are. If you have to mask at work—maybe you need to find a different job or get help to share your identity and ask for accommodations.
  • Embrace your interests. Say, for instance, you love Barbie’s and you’re 35-years-old. Awesome! My Little Pony and you’re a 28-year-old man? You do you! If it is legal and brings you joy, it is no one’s business but your own. Find other adults who share your interest. You can do this by starting a Facebook page or looking on Reddit.
  • Learn to recognize ableism and don’t internalize it. Avoid people who do things such as deny the legitimacy of your diagnosis, belittle you regarding life skills you may need help managing, or ask you to stop stimming because “you’re embarrassing them” or “making them uncomfortable.”
  • Learn how to advocate for yourself. Non-profit autism agencies may be able to help you learn what to say and how to communicate what you need to convey. If you are uncomfortable with a telephone call, send emails. Your Autistic support groups or social groups can help you to understand how to ask for what you need.
  • Educate people in your life about autism to help expand their understanding and challenge any ableist views they may have. As you learn, you may be excited to share things with people you care about. As you do, it may help you to tear down your own internalized ableism.
  • Learn about masking and how to recognize when you are doing it. Read about the harm that masking can cause you. Once you know the facts, find those opportunities where you can be yourself. Often, that is with other neurodiverse people.
  • Avoid situations where you feel compelled to mask. For instance, someone may want to avoid noisy parties and mindless small talk in favour of a hike with a friend or an evening with your favourite hobby.
  • Practice self-care. It is so important for Autistic people who more commonly need rest than non-Autistic people due to a range of issues such as sleep problems, anxiety, night-time ruminations, social demands and masking which can all contribute to fatigue. Rest can help prevent burnout.
  • Find opportunities to volunteer at or attend Autistic-led events. It can help you to feel part of your community and is an opportunity to make social connections.
  • Do all you can to stop negative self-talk. Try redirecting your attention:
    • List your strengths and abilities.
    • Text or call a friend or trusted family member.
  • Find positive emotional regulation strategies, such as:
    • Have a cool shower.
    • Watch a funny movie.
    • Go for a walk.
    • Do deep breathing.
    • Practice Mindfulness exercises.

Learn more about emotional regulation in our toolkit: Emotional Regulation and Dysregulation in Autism: Considerations in Adulthood


Back to Top

 

Conclusion

The process of teasing out all of the consequences of Internalized Ableism can be a difficult journey. If you have access to a therapist, it may be helpful to have someone to talk to about your pain, epiphanies and increased awareness.

You may have endured so much isolation, masking, and feelings of self-loathing that understanding where this came from can be painful. Be gentle and patient with yourself. You are perfect just the way you are.

The point here: Don’t forget to recognize and celebrate your Autistic identity with pride!


Back to Top

 

References

1Perry, D. (2017). "The Ruderman white paper on media coverage of the murder of people with disabilities by their caregivers." Ruderman Family Foundation. [Accessed April 1, 2025] Link to White Paper | Link to Executive Summary.

2Rast, J. E., Tao, S., Schott, W., Shea, L. L., Brodkin, E. S., Kerns, C. M., Leonard, C. E., Murray, M. J., & Lee, B. K. (2025). Psychotropic medication use in children and youth with autism enrolled in Medicaid. Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders, 55(1), 258–266. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10803-023-06182-5

3Ai, W., Cunningham, W. A., & Lai, M.-C. (2024). Camouflaging, internalized stigma, and mental health in the general population. International Journal of Social Psychiatry, 70(7), 1239–1253. https://doi.org/10.1177/00207640241260020

4Han, E., Scior, K., Heath, E., Umagami, K., & Crane, L. (2023). Development of stigma-related support for autistic adults: Insights from the autism community. Autism: The International Journal of Research and Practice, 27(6), 1676–1689. https://doi.org/10.1177/13623613221143590

5Arnold, S. R., Higgins, J. M., Weise, J., Desai, A., Pellicano, E., & Trollor, J. N. (2023). Confirming the nature of autistic burnout. Autism: The International Journal of Research and Practice, 27(7), 1906–1918. https://doi.org/10.1177/13623613221147410

6Dubreucq, J., Plasse, J., Gabayet, F., Faraldo, M., Blanc, O., Chereau, I., Cervello, S., Couhet, G., Demily, C., Guillard-Bouhet, N., Gouache, B., Jaafari, N., Legrand, G., Legros-Lafarge, E., Pommier, R., Quilès, C., Straub, D., Verdoux, H., Vignaga, F., … Franck, N. (2020). Self-stigma in serious mental illness and autism spectrum disorder: Results from the REHABase national psychiatric rehabilitation cohort. European Psychiatry, 63(1), 1-9. https://doi.org/10.1192/j.eurpsy.2019.12

7Strunz, S., Schermuck, C., Ballerstein, S., Ahlers, C. J., Dziobek, I., & Roepke, S. (2017). Romantic relationships and relationship satisfaction among adults with Asperger Syndrome and High‐Functioning Autism. Journal of Clinical Psychology, 73(1), 113–125. https://doi.org/10.1002/jclp.22319

8Levi, M. K., Schreuer, N., Granovsky, Y., Bar-Shalita, T., Fogel, I. W., Hoffman, T., & Gal, E. (2023). “Feeling unwanted, when nobody wants you around”: Perceptions of social pain among people with autism. The American Journal of Occupational Therapy, 77(2), 1-12. https://doi.org/10.5014/ajot.2023.050061


Back to Top

 

 

Photo by Antoni Shkraba Studio on Pexels

 

 

Keywords•
Across Canada , anxiety and stress , Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) , Behavioural Challenges , Community Inclusion , Emotion Regulation , Employment , Maxine Share , Parent Author/Contributor , Self-advocate author or contributor , Sensory Issues , Social Acceptance , Stigma and Ableism , Well-being and life satisfaction ,
Load more reviews
How helpful was this resource?
Comment by from
Rating